Hospitality and Gender Relations

Among those of us who have travelled around a few parts of the Middle East, we have a general conensus: Yemenis are the friendliest people in the region and really take hospitality to a new level. It is not unusual here for a Yemeni shopowner to buy drinks for all the people in his shop. Of course there is an expectation that at least one person in the group will buy something, but unlike many other places, he doesn't attempt to rip you off. There are a number of different people from this part of our city who have met some of the students here and invited them to dinner or tea or to chew qat. You can ask anyone for help and they will help you. There is some bartering over prices but it is limited. Banks don't charge for exchanging money and always give you the correct rate; kids on the street will walk you somewhere if you get lost. And despite the fact that all the men walk around with jambias tied in their belts (a jambia is a J-shaped knife or dagger that portrays a man's family and class stature according to its ornamentation) and certainly sometimes make comments to the Western women (mostly just the commonly-known phrase "-ello, welcome to Yemen!" but also the occasional Arabic-accented "Oh my gawd," which I have to admit is mildly funny - probably had to be there), even the men are mostly respectful and will answer any question you may have. Yemenis are soft-spoken people, almost sultry in the way they speak. In that way they remind me a little of the Tamashek people in West Africa (JD, maybe you know what I'm talking about?).

So hospitality is certainly a characteristic of the Yemeni culture. It is interesting then to note how they act within their own culture - specifically with gender relations between the men and women.

Although many women have jobs, it is almost always "behind the scenes" kind of work. For example, here at this university, all of the teachers are male. The dean in charge of placing students in classes is a female, but she does not conduct classes herself. Many women work in the office and provide support, but the only two women that have a more prominent role - directing student affairs, essentially - are both Westerners. (One of them mentioned that since she has been here, she has seen three motorcycle accidents from men who were so busy staring at her blonde hair they just forgot they were on the street and rode right into a truck.) Tonight one of my fellow students and I ventured into the busy section of the old city to grab dinner. Most restaurants are small and have a men's section dowstairs and a women's section upstairs. The women's section is always older and they serve them last. But all the people working in restaurants are always male. I'm told some places have "mixed" seating, which means they have booths for families with curtains that can be drawn between the booths to ensure that men from one family don't see the women from another family. Yemeni women are notoriously curious, but only in the safety of the homes apparently. When walking around outside they always look straight at the ground.

And, like many other Middle Eastern countries, one of the cultural norms that makes Westerners uncomfortable is the common practice of holding hands everywhere you go. Grown men will hold hands with their male friends as they stroll down the street, and the same goes for women and teenagers of both sexes. They're not gay (homosexuality is illegal here); it's simply a cultural norm.

Today we had our first official "Qat" gathering. Welcome to the ultimate Yemeni social networking time. I would like to say that, despite the obvious popularity of qat, I'm not sure if I'll get used to seeing grown men walking around all the time smiling with bulging cheeks and green teeth. We'll see. More on the Qat culture to come. :)